Smell of Rose

What are the most memorable moments of your life? When you felt peace, when you felt that in that very moment the world was exactly as it should be, when you felt that you are at the right place at the right moment, when you almost felt that you understand existence, when everything was just all right. If you seriously count them there are not so many, are there..? You have lived twenty, forty, sixty years, and there have been only a handful really

 penetrating moments, have been not..? Perhaps, when you watched 

a colorful sunset, and the beautiful play of lights on deep orange clouds left you speechless; Or perhaps, on a mild

 spring 

afternoon, when you smelled a rose, sitting on a soft garden grass. The gentle wind touched your skin, and the sweetness of the rose was unspeakable; Or perhaps, when you watched your lover sleeping in your arms. You sensed her/his unmistakable smell, that meant you the pure love that moment. The warmness of her/his body, the soft rising and falling of her/his chest, and the small movements of her/his eyelids told you: the world is perfect, after all; Or perhaps, when you sat that afternoon at the dining table, and around the table you saw your children, maybe the grandchildren as well. You looked that special spark in their eyes that only children have. Listened the warm tinkling of their joyful laugh. Then you knew that life worth it. You knew it for sure.

Was this experience really bound to that special subject -t

he sunset, the rose, the lover, the child- you contemplated? Or your amazement of sunset, your pure love to your lover and to your child opened up some deep blockage, and let you experience the life in its eternity and entirety; and beyond even that, maybe for a split second the pure existence itself. Think about it 

for some time. In that very moment were you aware that you are watching the sunset; In that culminating point when you held your lover and felt the perfect happiness and tranquility, were 

you really conscious about the pleasure of owning and being owned? I am not asking one second before, or after - I am asking exactly that fleeting moment, when you were content. All your worries and hopes, your image of self, were all these present in that very moment, or there was no subject and no object, s/he and me, before and after, only the experience that melt all separation into the sensation of very existence here and now. When the sunset were you and you were the sunset; when that very spark in the eyes of your beloved one was you and you were the spark. Then you were utterly tranquil and content as your self opened up and united with that incontrollable flow of Universe, without a second thought.

That very moment is the beginning of meditation. Here in the dhamma-hall we all are practicing that very moment. We force our mind to detach from its created realm, by focusing our awareness to the subject of meditation. This links us back to what is 

real and true. In everyday life it happens when something really spectacular happens, because we are so deeply buried into our age-old habitual patterns, that we need so

mething extraordinary to grab our consciousness out from the cage of that world it has been 

creating to itself. Here

 in dhamma-hall the breathing makes it. In and out - no thought - in and out - no worries - in and out - just peace - in and out - and clarity.

There is this spark in every one of us. But we bury it, and, after a decade or two, it becomes barely perceivable. We bury it under unbearable weights of heavy

 thoughts, fears, unimportant dreams. We become so attached to them, that

 we forget the spark that actually lights everything, yet, lays out of anything. We start to live on the very surface of our minds, where all the trash is accumulated. We jump from one fear to the next, then to the next hope. Endlessly. All in our lives after a certain age we are in keep running. From one to another, another, then another again. Then we become frightened; we do not see the spark anymore, we do not find meaning anymore. But we do not stop, instead we double the force with which we gather more this and more that. Then we die.

Here we do not want that endless circle. Therefore we unite with the Universe trough our breathing. Just as you united trough the sunset, through the rose, through your lover, through your child, through what and whoever that opened a window for that moment to the truth. When the mind calms down, when there is no distraction anymore, when there is no hope and fear, when the subject and the object melt into one, then even the breathing, the final aid fades away. What is left behind, where there is no thought, no emotion, where no object and no 'I' and no sensation is present? That is for you to find out - That is who you really are...

Push the Trigger

Thank You! Thank You, God...

I have come into existence; I was given the power to live. From the Nothingness, the fragmented power of life force - the dreams and fears aroused into existence, and were united into a small, fragile container. That I call me. And this whole world was ready for me, it was awaiting me. Supported me by love and care, pain and suffering. It has been giving the air I breath; the food to build my form up; experiences, coming into contact with my innermost core of being through my senses, and nourish my inner tendencies; and the space that let me grow.

And I grow. The dreams I was given embrace the external world -in a realm deep within me, lying way beyond the sphere of my conscious knowledge- and form something new. Shape and reshape the various energies of the universe, to create something unique. Nobody ever was able to give exactly the same response, and nobody ever will, after I merge back into the Dumb Nothing. In the next moment. Then, I, too, will already be someone else. But in this very moment I still am that I am. And the innermost tendencies push me; An inevitable reverse flow starts and rush into existence trough me. They come through my eyes, through my hands, and I push the trigger.

Something miracle has just happened... The formless has taken a form. God has just come to this very world. He, the formless, trough the vast complexity of hidden tendencies revealed Himself, and has become a play of light and shadow. On a photograph. And He puts his palms together and looks back to me. Smiles, and says: "Bless You; God bless You, Son!"




With this thought I give a thank for winning my first award (for this photo):

'It's the Journey'

These thoughts are inspired by discussions in this blog. I suggest you to go there and read those chilling thoughts by yourself, but, in brief the main conclusion is that it is the journey what counts, not the final destination.

Is it really so..? You know, recently I have been thinking a lot about these questions (just read the citation by my photo icon on the left:). For long, I, too, thought that 'it's the journey'. Though not anymore; not quite. If it was JUST the journey -irrespective of its result and direction- why do you start it at all? After all, life as such is a journey itself. Within and without you. Just sit down and do not move for a hundred years, that is a journey, too. Life goes by you, just like the fields pass by while sitting in a train. Life goes through you in the throbbing of each and every cells.

But how many of us was really born to meditate still on the top of a mountain peak for the entirety of his life? No, most of us need to move. No, simply experiencing the flow of life, that is the journey itself, is not suitable for each and every one of us. No, I think, it is something more than a random journey itself...

Why do you feel the urge to move ahead? Why to create something, whether it is a material good, a family, an art performance, or a photo? Because we are pregnant of dreams. The quality, the 'direction' of the journey has to match the root, the forces hidden deep down in our unconscious, in the realm of dreams. In all of us there is a creative force, which wants to achieve something; on a certain, unique way. Something, which usually hidden from us. A force, which urges us, which does not let us rest, which wants to create a specific journey for us. The determination to create, the effort to move ahead are all rooted there. If your way is aligned to this momentum, then you live as you should be. Only then it is the journey. 'Coz, you let this motive to blossom. What blossom, it does not matter; whether it is worth for others, whether it is a great or tiny accomplishment for mankind, it does not matter. But the journey only is THE journey, if it fulfills the deepest dream of the Soul.